Women Leading Government meeting focuses on empathy, resilience

During the Women Leading Government meeting on Nov. 13 in Devens, women officials from around the state explored how to lead with empathy, build resilience in the face of adversity, and become better storytellers — both about themselves and the communities they serve.

The meeting featured:
• A panel discussion with women leaders describing how they overcame what could have been career-defining challenges
• A conversation with Marissa Baum, the head of communications in East Hartford, Connecticut
• A discussion of the new book “A Different Kind of Power,” by Jacinda Ardern, the former prime minister of New Zealand and a champion of empathy in leadership

In the book discussion — led by Southborough Assistant Town Administrator Vanessa Hale and Angie Lopes Ellison, a town manager in transition — attendees recalled being told that they show too much empathy, or not enough, or that they’re too sensitive, or too blunt. Hillary Waite, stormwater manager in Braintree, made the case for empathy.

“That’s why we exist,” Waite said. “If we didn’t have empathy, we wouldn’t have public schools, we wouldn’t have libraries, we wouldn’t have departments of public works. Why would we do this, if our job wasn’t to foster the care that we have in our community and for other people?”

Building resilience

During a panel discussion, four chief municipal officials described how they have built resilience in their careers. Moderator Lisa Wong, town administrator in South Hadley and a former mayor of Fitchburg, reminded the audience that resilience lies in mutual support.

“We cannot do this alone,” Wong said.

Panel members shared challenges and low points from their careers, including being berated at department-head meetings, getting driven off the side of a highway by a disgruntled employee, overcoming a union’s efforts to block a leader’s hiring authority, and facing an onslaught of personal and public attacks.

North Andover Town Manager Melissa Murphy Rodrigues discussed the crisis her town faced in 2023, during the early days of the Israel-Gaza conflict. Following its flag policy at the time, the Select Board approved requests to fly an Israeli flag, and then a Palestinian flag. That second request prompted death threats, FBI involvement, and the need for SWAT team protection at a Select Board meeting that drew busloads of people. When town employees balked at raising the flag in view of news cameras, Rodrigues did it herself.

“I think as female managers, we have this constant urge to not react, not overreact, don’t be dramatic, don’t be seen as emotional,” Rodrigues said. “In that moment, if I had not allowed myself to react, it would have been an insanely dangerous situation. … I never felt weak in those moments. I felt strategic. I felt stronger because I was willing to say, ‘Hey, this is a problem. We’re going to need help.’”

Panel members highlighted the need for de-escalation training, the strategic use of outside consultants, the value of leadership training, and the importance of getting continued buy-in from elected officials. Nantucket Town Manager Libby Gibson emphasized the importance of communications and keeping municipal websites updated, which builds trust.

The panel told leaders to take care of themselves, by building teams they trust, expanding their networks to find the right advisors, and relying on friends and mentors for support. Medford Mayor Breanna Lungo-Koehn urged women leaders to believe in themselves in the face of adversity.

“Always take your time — whether you need a night’s sleep,” she said. “Don’t let anybody pressure you. Don’t let anybody bully you.”

Better storytelling
Danvers Assistant Town Administrator Jen Breaker led the conversation with Baum, who is a co-host of “GovLov,” a podcast by Engaging Local Government Leaders that highlights government work and its workers.

Baum discussed how she overcame imposter syndrome, with a process that involved developing her personal brand, and a memorable elevator pitch, highlighting her strengths and passions.

“As an individual, whether you realize it or not, every single day you are building your own personal brand, just in the way that you communicate, the way that you collaborate, the way that you conduct yourself, the way that you dress,” Baum said. “You know all of that, and so why not take a proactive approach and control that narrative for how people talk about you when you’re not in the room, right?”

By learning to tell better stories about herself, Baum said, she became a better storyteller about East Hartford.

Through videos on social media, Baum has shown the mayor jumping out of a pile of leaves to announce the start of leaf-vacuuming season; announced the installation of a much-anticipated flashing-yellow intersection light with the theme music from “2001: A Space Odyssey,” and had employees perform a choreographed dance to the song “We’re All in This Together” to celebrate the Town Hall’s renovation.

“I know that if residents and businesses are entertained by the content that we’re putting out,” she said, “they’re much more likely to take home the message that I need them to take home.”